In a Church service I recently attended, there was a marriage seminar being announced as an up-coming event. In it of course, was going to be included, the over-used topic of the differences between men and women brains.
Now, I’m not looking for a seminar on marriage, I’ve seen many and I give some of them myself. However, as they showed a preview of what people could expect to see, I was disturbed again by the erroneous teaching that is relentlessly going around in this subject matter.
That teaching concerns the difference between men and women brains. The video showed the seminar leader in action giving his presentation using two brain models. Pointing to the first “female” brain he explained that it consisted of many boxes which were all totally connected with one another and which could communicate simultaneously at any time.
Then, moving to the next model which was that of a “male” brain, he explained that in this one were also many boxes but these were not connected, as a matter of fact they didn’t even touch one another. And as well, this male brain had one more box in the middle which was called the “nothing” box. Supposedly this is where men can sit for periods of time without thinking about anything at all.
The audience roared with laughter at the comedian’s presentation and humorous comments which was well done indeed but which nevertheless gives the wrong teaching.
I leaned over to my husband and asked, “Have you ever been in a state of thinking about nothing?” His answer was what I was expecting, “No.” I’ve taken enough communication and psychological courses to know that the human brain always thinks of something – male or female.
Funnily enough, just a few days later, coincidentally, I heard a psychology expert say that people always think of something. This confirmed even more my own feeling about this article I’m writing right now.
However, I do not disagree that there is a difference between men’s and women’s thinking. Where I disagree is in the way that many teachers and seminar leaders present this difference. I strongly disagree that ALL men and ALL women are each described within one sweeping stroke.
In my book “Contextual Communication, Organization & Training”, I mention that within the commonly agreed upon differences between men and women there is generally an 80/20 ratio in various areas.
For instance, if we say that women are more emotional then men, about 80% of women fit this statement and 20% of men are also emotional. This means that 20% of women do not fall under that categorized description.
One can’t say that ALL women are more emotional than men. However, it is a fact that women are in general more emotional than men. Neither can one say that men are not emotional at all. Some men are; generally, though, they are not as emotional as women.