Do you like having men friends, and get on well with them?
Surely having men friends and knowing how to get on with men is a great advantage when you want to find a boyfriend?
If that’s you, then you probably have a lot of guy friends you hang out with regularly and whose company you enjoy. And having this diverse social circle enriches your life and boosts your desirability factor in the eyes of the opposite sex.
Or does it?
It’s true that if you get on with men well, it’s a great indicator that you would be a great girlfriend. But somehow it’s not happening. And although having men friends means you know lots of great guys, you never seem to find a potential boyfriend among them. Or if you do, you don’t seem to be able to cross the barrier from being great mates to being boyfriend and girlfriend.
So what’s the problem?
The trouble is that having too many guy friends can actually diminish your sex appeal and feminine allure. It might sound crazy, but there are several reasons why this really is true.
Being One of the Guys
Because you spend so much time with the guys, you start to become one of them. You get used to relating to men in an entirely platonic way. They are your mates and romance isn’t on the menu, so you lose any trace of sexual frisson in your interactions with them. You don’t flirt with them, and you become complacent and even careless in your dealings with them.
In time you find this becomes a habit, so that you stop looking at the men you know as potential lovers. You are too used to treating them and THINKING of them as mates. And so you lose much of your attraction potential to the guys you meet, because you play down your feminine allure and treat them as platonic friends rather than lovers.
Closing the Door on Love
As you get used to your relaxed, at ease, asexual interaction with your male friends, the possibility of romance becomes, in contrast, more and more of a fantasy. In theory it’s still what you want, but in practice you stop being able to get your thoughts into the ‘more than friends’ mindset. You no longer have any romantic expectations of the men you know, and you carry that forward with you when you meet new men.
You may feel that this is all a bit far-fetched, and that you still know a great guy when you see one – but how often DO you see one, and when you do, how easily do you attract him?
The trouble is that habits are easy to form and hard to break. You become used to having men friends, and you start to see other men as potential friends too, rather than as boyfriends. And you find yourself wondering why there are no good men out there.
Remember to Flirt and Be Feminine
Of course there are, plenty of them. And you need to keep your man radar alert and be aware of the men you meet. Having men friends is great, but not when you get into the habit of never seeing them as anything else. And it’s important not to forget how to flirt.
Flirting plays up your feminine side to men, and that is the side of you that attracts them. Flirting also plays up your fun side, and tells a man you have sexy thoughts about him and find him attractive. We are instinctively drawn to people who like us; so flirting encourages men to find you sexually attractive.